Monday, May 08, 2006

Risk

My youngest son is 10 months old. He has been pulling up on the furniture and cruising everywhere for the past few months. I think he is about to let go of the furniture very soon and take his first step. I can see it in his eyes. But for now, he takes one hand away--and there it is. For a second, he thinks about not holding on to that anchor, and then both of the hands go back to the couch. He eases to the floor and crawls to that toy or the remote control. My son just won't take that risk.

It is so hard to step out into the unknown. It is so much easier to stay comfortable. I love being comfortable. I like routine. I like counting on getting a little "me" time at the end of the day. I like knowing that my oldest son will be in preschool for a few hours a week so that errands can be completed. I like being able to call my mom on certain nights to check in with her and find out about the rest of my extended family.

Of course, if I were to stay comfortably in my routines, I would miss out on vacation time. I would not know that I can compose a very thoughtful prayer for Easter. I would not have gotten to know my neighbor. I would never have read that controversial, yet thought-provoking book. There are so many reasons to take risks, and so many rewards to be reaped.

My husband refuses to get comfortable, especially with his job. He transfers to new departments within his company, takes on new leadership roles, and continues to accept more and more responsibility. He rejects the idea that comfortable is good saying, "there is no growth; no chance to learn" when we are comfortable.

I really want to take more risks with my own life. But it is so easy to get stuck in a rut. Perhaps it is better to pray for strength to get through the day sometimes (like when your child comes down with a fever and you worry all night long about it). I struggle with where my life should go. I want to catch the vision God has for me. But I know that to do so would be taking a risk. So I find other things to take my time: does this floor need sweeping? Do the children need a bath before bed? Do I have enough time to browse around my favorite websites before bed? What in the world am I going to cook for dinner? What distractions!

At the end of the day, I am a ten month old with one hand on the couch. I think about taking the risk. Then I put both hands back on the couch and lower myself comfortably to the floor.

4 comments:

Sally said...

yes and 10 month olds grow up and know when the right time to let go is... you will do the same, and when you know it is time to let go there just might be no stopping you!

SingingOwl said...

Ah, well said, Sally! I can't add to that. But I am curious about a Baptist woman with a MDiv who can preach. American Baptist, I'm guessing? I grew up Southern Baptist, but I attended an American Baptist high school.

A. Lin said...

I grew up Southern Baptist. I am affiliated with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship now; the divinity school I went to was CBF affiliated. I never knew anything about American Baptist until I was out of seminary and connected with some baptists online.

I changed my church membership from SBC to CBF the Sunday after the SBC voted on the 2000 Baptist Faith and Message. I find it hard to believe that all the missions and baptist doctrine that I learned about while growing up in a SBC church could suddenly be invalid. Priesthood of the believer and soul competency still support my call to preach.

LutheranChik said...

And sometimes God backs up the moving van, takes away the couch to make room for all new furniture.;-)