Saturday, May 13, 2017

Thoughts About Mother's Day

I do not like being in church on Mother's Day. Thankfully, I'm taking a break from church right now, so I don't have to face it this year. I think there is a lot to unpack with my dislike of Mother's Day. Maybe it should be some other place that in this blog, but I need to get some things out.

My first recollections of Mother's Day as celebrated by a church was in my own country church of my childhood. There would be special recognition of the youngest mother, the oldest mother, and the mother with the most children (presumably living). We would wear red roses for mothers still alive and white roses for mothers who had died. Today, most churches have stopped doing this. There is a lot of hurt that comes with such recognition. Too many women are infertile, have had miscarriages, have had children die, or even haven't wanted to bear children. These people find Mother's Day to be a painful day to be in church. Recognizing all women in the church is one way some congregations deal with Mother's Day, but that skirts around the problem that some women still find the day completely difficult.

I never had a problem with the recognizing of mothers when I was growing up. But since then, I have known enough friends who hurt and intentionally avoid church because of the emphasis.

My other problem may sound more petty: I don't like going to church and having people tell me Happy Mother's Day. I have to bite my tongue and accept it, but these people aren't my children. I have the strange idea (I guess) that my children are the only ones who should tell me that. Mother's Day should be a family holiday, but it doesn't mean everyone gets to celebrate. It is personal. I love being able to send my mother a card and a gift and call her on Mother's Day; but here again, not everyone can say that.

Also, willy-nilly wishing of Happy Mother's Day to strangers is a complete assumption of whether or not they are mothers at all. Go to a restaurant tomorrow, oh middle-aged woman, and you may get the Mother's Day greeting--with the wisher never knowing if such a thing is true or if it will cause you pain.

In recent years, I have remained outside the sanctuary door so I wouldn't have to be recognized or hear a special Mother's Day song or tribute. I don't come to church for that. But I have noticed the women who were consistently absent over the years. I saw them, and I saw their pain. And every year, my dissatisfaction with the holiday has grown. I hate Mother's Day for the divisions it brings to women. I would be all in favor of getting rid of it if not for my boys' happiness at giving homemade cards or my loving thoughts at picking out cards and gifts for my own mother.

Theologically, I don't think Jesus would have celebrated Mother's Day. In Matthew 12: 46-50, we can see what emphasis Jesus placed on his family:

46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Gosh! I really wish I knew what Mary said to that!

The truth of it is that when we follow Jesus, our earthly bonds of parent/child or brother/sister or even wife/husband are not as important as spiritual relationship with God. Granted in biblical times, families were often formed due to economic reasons rather than emotional ones. But in our materialistic world today, where every commercial for the last few weeks has been about buying mom jewelry, maybe a bit of Jesus's words can still apply. 

Some part of me realizes that the celebration of motherhood is a patriarchal ceremony. First Timothy 2:15 says the woman will be saved through childbearing--which is part of that whole women being submissive passage complementarians so love to quote. Give mothers a day of celebration, but heaven forbid one of them wants to get up and preach. Tell them all about the Proverbs 31 woman, but don't let her know that this woman worked outside the home. Don't let the women think they can remain childless by choice. Motherhood is the highest ideal, so the patriarchy says. 

I'm such a theology nerd. I've clearly overthought Mother's Day for many years. Yet I think it is okay to do so. We need to ask us why we are celebrating. We don't need to blindly follow the crowd without thinking for ourselves.

So, while I'm not going to say Happy Mother's Day tomorrow to anyone but my own mother. I am thinking about friends: one who was infertile, but adopted a baby this year; one who didn't have a husband, and chose artificial insemination to become a mother anyway; one who never had children of her own, but is a step-mom to her husband's child; one who chose to remain childless by choice, but loves the children she teaches; one who had many miscarriages before having a rainbow baby; one who shares the day with her spouse, as two mothers to a child they both love; one who longs for children, but won't have them without having a husband first; one who has her two lovely children and spends her life making a home for them; one whose children won't talk to her because of estrangement; one who is facing the day with the fresh memory of her husband's passing as she tries to make life normal again for her boys; one who wants to have children, but cannot for medical reasons; the one that has buried her child; the one who just misses her own mama--I hold all these people in my heart. 

In this world, there is grief and happiness sometimes at the same time. Mother's Day is a day when that is particularly true. Let us be intentional with our words. Let us be thoughtful in our actions. Let us be kind to one another. Amen.

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

We Do Not Say Lappidoth's Wife

Over on ChurchLeaders.com, a new article went up today by Raleigh pastor J.D. Greear. It is called, "The Church Needs More Deborahs." And it is a great title. Unfortunately, the article starts strong but completely derails by the end. Greear seems to want to give women the chance to be the ministry leaders that God calls them to be, but he also wants them to stay in "God's order." God's order is the code-word/catch-phrase for complementarianism--a long word not too many people outside of evangelicalism will care about (or for). It means that there is a hierarchy to follow in a household. And it is best shown by this illustration you may have seen before:

In the picture, you have Christ as head of the husband, husband as head of wife, and wife as head over children (some put the children as head of the pets--whatever). The notion of headship goes back to passages like Ephesians 5, and they tend to "keep women in their places" in a great number of evangelical churches, baptist seminaries, etc.

In his article, Greear was so close to true revelation. I hope he keeps praying that the Holy Spirit will show him a better way of allowing women to lead--under God's authority alone. Here is a better graphic for what that looks like:





Anyway, back to the article.

Deborah was an Old Testament prophet whose story is found in Judges chapter 4 & 5. Deborah was called by God to lead the Israelites to victory over Sisera, the Canaanite commander who had oppressed the Israelites for twenty years. But there is one gem of a half-sentence in the article's conclusion: "[Deborah] is still identified by her husband...". That makes me laugh. I'm sure you immediately remembered Deborah's husband's name, right? We don't remember his name. It is mentioned in passing, but that's it. His name was Lappidoth. I had to look it up.



A long time ago on a Wednesday in mid-June (June 14, 2000), the Southern Baptist Convention adopted a statement that said that the role of pastor in a church was reserved for a man. I grew up Southern Baptist. I was also in divinity school, and I had also been called by God to preach. So on June 18, 2000, I joined a church that was aligned with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship--a group that had broken away from the Southern Baptists over the women in ministry issue. I had been attending that church, First Baptist Church of Forest City, NC since my husband Phillip and I had married 3 1/2 years earlier.

And I was known as Phillip's wife.

By the time I finished divinity school, Phillip was known as Amy's husband. And here's how that happened....

I had to complete a year of internship in a local church to complete my degree. So I presented myself to the leaders of First Baptist, and they found me a place. I taught children, helped with the youth, went on retreats, attended meetings, led worship, served communion, and yes, preached. That church recognized my call was from God. They didn't need to identify me by my husband at the end of the year as they licensed me to preach and affirmed my call.

No one remembers Deborah's husband's name. Her authority didn't come from her husband--it came directly from God. As women called by God, that is also where our authority comes from. The Church does need more Deborahs--women called by God and God alone. Only then will the true Gospel be realized and restoration can occur.
 

We do not say Lappidoth's wife. We say Deborah's husband.


Sunday, April 30, 2017

Bring Your Best to God

My previous post went up today, but now I am going to expand on it a bit more. This is due to the fact that I am a bit angry at the sub-par sermon experience I had this morning. In a way that is deeply personal to me, let me tell you why it matters for preachers to preach good sermons.

In my experience as an evangelical, Protestant Christian, I have seen churches readily affirm young men in their congregation who announce they feel called to ministry. They say, "Sure. Come on. We will let you preach next Sunday. Maybe we will ordain you next month." It does not matter that the young man hasn't even been to bible school at all. Instead they enter a role like pastor with ease.

Consider those of us with two X chromosomes. The scenario above never happens. If a young woman from the same congregation announced a call, she may be ignored, rebuked, reprimanded--certainly not encouraged--by her evangelical, Protestant church. She will have passages from 1 Timothy chapter 2 thrown at her. Who gives her the authority to speak? Why would God call a woman? We don't do it the way those liberal churches do it--because it's sin.

So, the young woman has to attend divinity school or seminary to get her master's degree. She may send out 100 resumes looking to obey God's call to preach. But all she gets is silence. Maybe she could work with the children instead? Her own church ignores her request to be ordained--and that church is supposed to be a bit more progressive and affirming of women's roles in ministry. Maybe her denomination won't ordain without a call. Maybe she can't be called by a church until she is ordained--"ordination required for this position"she reads in the job posting. Maybe she wants to preach in her own church and has to have another man twist the arm of the pastor to let her do so. Yet this woman knows how to craft a sermon and deliver it. It is something she keeps studying and working on as she smashes her fists against the stained glass ceiling. The fact that she is a woman holds her in an unordained status--frustrated yet still eager to follow God's call.

The man who is called doesn't even have to try that hard. Which makes him think that sub-par is enough. But like Cain bringing his sacrifice to God, you've got to bring your best or the offering is rejected.

My brothers in Christ who happen to also be preachers: you've got to bring your best. The women who are called, who could easily step into your place if you were out sick one Sunday, are prepared. Bring your A game. One day, this post will be obsolete--women will have their calls affirmed as quickly and easily as men's. But for now, you better be ready. You better work on your sermon and know your stuff. You need to read and study and pray and be ready to speak Truth.

Sermons are Important

A few weeks ago, a Gallup poll found that sermon content was what most appeals to churchgoers. It certainly does to me--especially since I am the occasion writer of sermons. I want background into what was happening in a Scriptural passage--both for when it occurred and when it was written (two different things). I want to know how the original hearer of Scripture heard it--what was their background and how did he/she apply it. I want to know how a passage has been interpreted by tradition. ALL of that is just a small part of what I want to hear in a sermon. Of course, I also want to know what was put into the heart of the preacher by the Holy Spirit as well. I want sermons that touch everyone in a congregation, young and old, men and women, boys and girls, the business owner, the single parent, etc.

It isn't often that I hear exceptional sermons. Divinity school taught me to offer critique, and I've never gotten past that. I can overlook some things. But I know the difference between good and bad sermons.

So...

Today I took the boys to a non-denominational church that I will not name. We were there on time. At least two people suggested that the boys go to the children's Sunday School instead of worshiping with me--but I declined that because I believe in worship as a family activity. I feel that maybe we all could have gotten more out of Sunday School in the end. There were three praise songs, and I didn't know any of them. I can get over that. However, the sermon was not good. It had passages out of context. Called part of the Sermon on the Mount Jesus's first sermon--and it wasn't. And it didn't really explain how we got from the Scripture passage to the conclusion in a coherent way. I couldn't figure out the message or how to apply it to my life.

So today we attempted worship, but I'm not so sure I found it--even though we were in a church building for an hour.

My message to the sermon crafter: learn everything you can about the holy task of sermon preparation. Read! Find books that give background and history--and write well and speak well. This is something you work at--even take some voice lessons. And if it is what people are coming to church for, then you better make sure it is well prepared.

Honestly, I wanted to ask the pastor if he had ever been to seminary. But I kept my mouth shut.

If you are a pastor and want some books to study to hone your writing, send me a message. I can help you with some resources.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

A Short Sermon for St. Thomas

Today's gospel lectionary text for the 2nd week of Easter comes from John 20:19-31:

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe."

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name. 


Thomas has a reputation. He is known as doubting Thomas. He is ridiculed because he needed proof that it was Jesus who was resurrected. He had to see the marks on Jesus's body for himself.

I propose that we are much more like Thomas than we think.

Credit: Pat Byrnes
How curious that yesterday, on Earth Day, there was a March for Science that was held in cities and towns around the world. As with other recent marches, it is entertaining to read the signs and enlightening to hear the stories about how science saves lives. Modern science is a marvel, and we owe a lot to the Enlightenment thinkers that were curious enough to discover how the world works.

But those same early thinkers were up against a religious culture that demanded you accept things on faith alone. Often imprisoned, sometimes tortured, the early astronomers were forced to recant their findings. Great plagues were not seen as a problem with rats and the fleas they carried, but a sign that God was punishing for sin. The Church of the day didn't necessarily want people to think about things for themselves--it is much easier for religion--and government--to keep people living solely in faith and not in the enlightened ways that were coming from science, philosophy, and sometimes showing up on the doors of churches.

Today we live in a time that has for the most part accepted the findings of science. Of course some things exist in theory, but those theories are good ones and some will be proven some day. Some Christians do refute things like evolution, global warming, a round earth(!)--but like the religious leaders of old, they are living against what is known--a last vestige of a population living on faith only. The rest of us live as people who have seen things proven. And we are more like Thomas than we know.

Living on faith alone is fine unless it harms others. Bringing live, venomous snakes into worship can be about faith, but those snakes bite and kill. Saying that the rapture is imminent so we really don't need to take care of the environment creates a harmful attitude for our children who will have to live with our dumping of toxic sludge and polluted waterways.

As a Christian, I'd rather be like Thomas. Give me a bit of proof of some things. Let me hear the stories and decide for myself. Let me look at the archaeological findings and see what I can learn about the life and times of the biblical characters. Let me actually see you live your faith, and I'll know if it is truly a good thing or not.

Legend has it that Thomas went all the way to India after Jesus's ascension--the very fact that he needed proof did not hold back his witness. Whether you live closer to faith or science, there is a place for your story as well. Yes, Thomas will always be known as the doubting disciple, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Resurrected Church Attendance

After a month of not attending church services, my Sunday guilt rose to a new high on this High Holy Day of Easter. I looked for a church to attend; and in the process, found a new paradigm for the next year: it's time I took my boys on a "road-trip" of congregations to let them experience what is the same and what is different about worship. My oldest son is all for this. My youngest is missing our old congregation a lot. Middle son is indifferent. But we went for it anyway.

Today we attended a UCC church in Cary. I had been drawn to go there due to the rainbow comma that they had placed at the street sign. I pass by there every week, and I had heard the pastor speak last October at a preaching conference I attended.

Things to remember for next time: get there at least 10-15 minutes early so that you can be greeted, sign the visitors' book, and peruse the worship folder to see if there is anything you need to help your children with--like how the prayers of the people would be done and how communion is handled. As it was, we got there right on time. Luckily, we were greeted, given a first-time visitor's bag, and the greeter helped us find seats in the seasonally packed sanctuary.

The best thing about today is that the sermon spoke to my heart letting me hear exactly what I needed. I have been missing this from Sunday morning worship for many months. My heart has been resurrected through the act of corporate worship as well. At least for this week, I will not feel as though something is missing.

My oldest was surprised by how short the sermon was. This led to a great theological discussion on how denominations emphasize different aspects of worship. Baptists have always held the sermon as the most important part--a reason why baptist churches put the pulpit front and center. After the sermon today, there was still offering and communion.

As we were walking in, my youngest wanted to know if they would get a paper to draw on. I didn't know, but to my surprise, they had a familiar sheet from Illustrated Children's Ministry (the same one that I had purchased for my recent church experience). And there was a sharpened pencil in the welcome bag--my youngest 2 shared it as they worked on the activities.

I'm excited to see where this church adventure takes us. As a parent, I am responsible for my children's spiritual development. One of the things that I loved as a teen was the times I got to experience worship a little differently. I hope that I can expose my boys to new ideas and that we can have more theological discussions. It might even be interesting to write a book on what we/I learn in this time of wandering.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

In Church Limbo

People come into a church. People leave the church. But do churches know the reason why?

It is easier to find out what attracts a person to start coming to a church with some regularity. It is easier to ask them outright. Most people are eager to help the church leaders know.

But it is more difficult to find out why a person leaves a church. This is mainly because church attendance is sporadic for most attendees. It used to be that regular church goers attended every week; but these days, attendance once or twice a month is the definition of a regular church attendee.

For some small churches, no one is keeping track of why parishioners leave. They miss one, two, three Sundays; and no one ever follows up. Whose job is it supposed to be anyway? So people, families drift away. There has to be a way of following up and keeping people connected. But I think many churches fail at this.

As for me, I've missed the last two Sundays at my church. I'll miss again on this coming Sunday because it is one of the rare Sundays where I have to work. No one has reached out to me to find out the reason. I guess everyone assumes I've left. Maybe they think I've moved--that was a rumor for a while. So many have left our church in the past year. Yet I too have been guilty of not following up and finding out why.

Sickness has kept me away from church for the past two weeks. After a month of no church attendance, if I go back, would I still be welcome? Has the congregation already written me off? Is there anything left for me?

Monday, March 06, 2017

Teaching Youth Sunday School

Since September, I have taught in Sunday School for the handful of youth at our church. It was a natural continuation of teaching 5th graders last year, and it has been a surprisingly wonderful experience for me. This stands juxtaposed with a youth Sunday School class I taught almost a decade ago--a class in which I spectacularly failed. So with time comes wisdom; and here are the things I've learned this time around.

1. Connect the stories. The best way to remember is to see the connection between things in the bible. When we talk about Jesus sharing the Passover meal, we review what Passover is and why Jesus would be celebrating it. We use the things that is covered in World Civilization class at school to talk about where the story of Jesus fits into history and why Jesus came at a time when more people were receptive. There is value in story because it allows youth to see that maybe they fit into the story of Jesus as well.

2. Don't go into class with all the answers. One thing I love is to discuss those gray areas where the bible contradicts itself. Bumping Ezra and Nehemiah against Ruth when talking about the way the foreigner is treated. Using Jesus' teachings to talk about what we see in the present day--these are ways to get youth thinking. They don't need answers in Sunday School--they need to think...which leads to....

3. Remember that youth are brand new abstract thinkers. It's a big difference from teaching preschoolers. Youth want to ask the "what if" questions and think through scenarios. Sunday School can be a safe environment for that discussion.

4. Sunday School is different from a youth group gathering. In our church, Sunday School is learning about the bible stories--it is bible study. That keeps us on task. There needs to be a separate time for each in your church, but not so strict--there can be a blurring of the lines if a youth wants to discuss a particular problem.

5. Most important of all: food. I have fed the youth every week except the week that the Boy Scouts had a pancake breakfast one Sunday morning. These teenagers need a second breakfast. Having it consistently lets them know that they can have time to get their thoughts together while putting jelly on their biscuit. And if they come late, they may not get the doughnut that was there at the start of class. With a handful of teenagers, this was quite doable for me. It might take a parent rotation if a group is larger. But food is a good way to start. Fellowship is important.

It has been fun to teach youth Sunday School this year--and I never thought I'd be doing it. But in teaching the youth, I have learned that with a bit of food and respect and kindness, it has been a great class to teach. 

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Giving Units

A few years ago, I was in a budget meeting for my church where I first heard the term "Giving Unit" to describe the people in the congregation who regularly gave to the church. At first it seemed kind of funny to me. But later I reflected that it wasn't all that funny. I have come to despise the term in the last few years.

The problem with being a "Giving Unit" is that it only takes into account the financial gifts that a person contributes. I had a conversation with fellow church member a while back who was sorry that her family could not contribute more. Yet this woman had been active in many areas of ministry--giving her time and talents. I truly believe that time and talents are worth more to a church that money in many ways.

When your church is at the brink of collapse due to a decrease in members and contributions, it is easy to push the focus to acquiring more "Giving Units;" but in doing so, the real work of the gospel is lost. The Gospel is not so much worried about keeping doors open and pastors paid. The Gospel is what is required in our actions: giving oneself to the ministry to which God has called each of us. For a church not to recognize that time and talents are just as important as money, makes that church lack effectiveness and take members for granted. Let us remember that giving is not always about money.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Release the Women

For the past ten years, Baptist Women in Ministry has promoted a yearly event called the Martha Stearns Marshall Month of Preaching. During the month of February, Baptist congregations are encouraged to have a woman preach for one of the Sundays--a minister at the church, a divinity school student, a layperson from the congregation, etc. It is always such fun to see the pictures go up on their Facebook page. It has been better to be asked to preach, at least for me.

When the event started a decade ago, our church was very good at promoting it. And for our congregation to be one of the few baptist congregations in Wake Forest, this was very good for our community as well. But somewhere along the line, the emphasis disappeared. Our pastor would turn in the name of a woman who had preached in January or February so it would appear on the list, but there was not a mention of the reason for the Martha Stearns Marshall event.

For the past few years, nothing has been said. To say how disappointing this is does not go far enough. Where is the emphasis on our women preachers? Our daughters and sons need to see their example. We need to emphasize the equal calling of both men and women as our preachers. After all, our shared values for our church say that God gifts men and women equally.

Today I was reading Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey, and she mentioned a Korean megachurch pastor Dr. David Yong-gi Cho who told other Korean pastors that their churches would grow if only they released the women to allow them to do what God calls them to do. As I pondered this account--and as I think about our own small church's decline--I cannot help but see the correlation in our lack of emphasis on women preaching. Sure women do continue to preach from time to time, but the full and equal gifts that God gives have not been emphasized.

In no way do I say it is a causation. I just find it interesting in the correlation it presents.

What would happen if all churches fully released their women to find their passion for ministry? For too long churches have relegated women to the nursery, the fellowship team, etc. Our own church has a vital ministry called Sew Buddies that came about because a woman was released to follow her passion. I think that there are others in our congregation that could be released. But if there is no support, no encouragement from the leaders, then it is not going to happen.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Success is Not a Christian Goal

George Barna loves to come out with a lot of statistics about Christian churches, specifically evangelical churches. For many years I have heard of his reports that indicate that churches are in decline, that people do not put as much importance on church-going as in years past, and that the way we worship needs to change in order to reach young people.

I have also heard in the past year sermons that seem to indicate that if our faith was great enough then the churches would be more successful and growing. My pastor preached a sermon titled "The Fear of Success" last year, and yesterday's lectionary text from 1 Corinthians 3 became a sermon on how we need to be mature Christians in order to grow our congregation.

But I have a big problem with this idea of success because of one fundamental question...

Where in the bible does it say that the goal of a Christian is to be successful? 

Our full-time pastors are pushed into growing congregations because their very livelihood depends on the offerings that are collected. It's either grow numbers or have people give more. As society shifts their church attendance to other things for any of a variety of reasons, we are left with churches that are struggling financially. It is no wonder I hear this topic of success come up these days.

The so-called prosperity preachers from television also preach a version of success. Most people can see through them--see through to the fact that while the preacher takes your hard-earned dollar, that same preacher is living in a mansion and owns multiple cars and/or a jet. Yet how is this different from the sermons I have heard about being a successful Christian?

If we look to the bible to see stories of successful Christians, we fall short. How many of the early Christians lost their lives--a sure indication that they were not successful. Even Jesus was killed. By the world's standards, he was not successful.

Let's stop fooling ourselves by saying a greater faith will lead to success.

The goal of a Christian is to be a devoted follower of Christ. It may mean a degree of personal sacrifice, ridicule, a path less taken. But the goal is not success. Faith is lived day-by-day; and many days we will fail. Our faith gives us courage to try again...and again...and again.

In the future, our churches will have to change. They will need pastors not reliant on a full-time salary. They will need Christians that pursue faith when the world is going to call them foolish. Our Christian worldview needs to shift from the pursuit of success to the holy and narrow path of faith. In that place, there is no fear.

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

After the Confirmation

What now?

Many Americans are deeply disappointed today. Despite phone calls, letters, emails, town hall meetings, and social media blasts, Betsy DeVos was confirmed by an tie-break vote in the Senate. It seems a disgrace in itself that it is was a tie--there could be no more sign of the controversy than a tie.

What do we, the ones in favor of a strong public school system and education in general do now?

First, go make a few jokes to relieve the tension. Perhaps you can say that you are now a brain surgeon because qualifications and education doesn't matter anymore. Make some Delores Umbridge memes. Talk about grizzlies. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. Then it is time to get to work.

Look and see how your Representatives and Senators voted. If they voted in favor of DeVos, see if DeVos had contributed to them. Remember how we called their offices in an attempt to influence their vote? Call them again--or email or write or Tweet--and let them know that you hold them accountable. Make sure to say your memory of their vote will be on your mind when he or she comes up for re-election--even if it is 5+ years until that election. If your Senator or Representative voted against DeVos, write a note of encouragement thanking him or her. It is important to let our elected officials know that they represent the people.

Also write or email DeVos. Let her know that she is accountable (her favorite word) for our public schools. She isn't going to care--she is looking for a return on her investment (in the campaign contributions she has spent), but it might be good to have an outlet for anger you feel.

Next, get involved with your own local school board. Attend meetings, run for open positions, at least read about what has went on in a  meeting. Your local school board affects you most. If you are paying the property taxes, they are using your monies. Learn the history of your county's school board (Wake County put out a great video just yesterday about the consolidation of Wake County and City Schools for instance).

Listen to the stories and research about why public schools matter. "This American Life" has some great episodes about where public schools are working and how they work best. Keep your ears open. If you see or hear research, learn about who financed it to see which way it will skew. Learn who lobbies for public schools and who lobbies against them.

Most of all, if you are in any way involved in a public school, support the teachers. Many are discouraged by today's vote and want to give up because the vote has been a kick in the face. It goes against everything they know and love. So get involved in advocating for our public school teachers. Join the PTA if you have a student in a public school. Volunteer in a public school and get to know the teachers and the incredible, life-changing work they do every day. If your child attends a public school, send in notes of encouragement to the teachers. Send in supplies. Send flowers and chocolate and giftcards to the local coffee shop. Never stop support of them in your discouragement. We know that any one of them is better qualified than DeVos, but they can feel your support through your voice. Use it.

Above all, don't lose hope. Millions are in the public school system and millions have been successful because of public schools. That track record is verifiable. Keep your eyes on truth and let your voice be heard.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Stop Scaring the Children

As a parent, you learn there are many fears that your children may have in life. The fear of thunderstorms. The fear of monsters under the bed. The fear of losing someone close to them. The fear of bullies.

Add a new fear: the fear of a president.

Today, my 8 year old son as waiting in carpool. When I drove up, I could tell he was not happy. Upon entering my car, he told me what a bad day it had been. "Was someone mean to you?" I asked. He didn't want to voice his fear aloud. I don't blame him--voicing it makes it real.

My son told me through his tears that he was scared of President Trump because Trump would build a wall and start a war.

My 8 year old is expressing a fear that I never would have ever entertained at 8 or even at 38.

Yet here we are.

President Trump, for the love of God--STOP! You are scaring the children.

Then I saw another scared child. One from this weekend. Apparently standing with her hands
handcuffed behind her back. I know of no child that age that stands with hands behind his or her back. Until I have proof otherwise, this child is in handcuffs. And why? I know any child would be afraid in such a situation.

Children learn a lot from what adults do, especially those adults who are in positions of authority. President Trump, I'm fighting you tooth and nail so my son will not be looking to you as a role model.

Instead, my son will be kind to others. He will not judge someone based on their skin color or their religious beliefs. He will continue to give loving hugs to the people he meets at church and at school. Ironically, if he did not know what Trump looked like and Trump went into our church or school, he would get a hug, too. A fact that breaks my heart. But he knows what you look like, President Trump. And I can say with confidence, that he would run and hide from you.

Every day for the last ten days I have fought for my son's peace of mind against you, President Trump. No action I have seen come from you in the last ten days has been a Christian one. In a world where I teach my son to think about how to be kind to others, you stand in my way because you think of no one but yourself and how you always have to look good.

Well you don't.

You look like a hateful, revenge-seeking dictator who will stop at nothing to divide America and conquer it.

So as I look to my bible, and I read Micah 6:8 from this past Sunday's Old Testament lesson: God has shown you, O Mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

So I told my son the same thing I did on November 9th when he woke up to the devastating news that you would be our 45th president: he must be kind. He must show kindness to all he meets. Many people will be sad for a long time. Some will also be angry.

But the kindness of one child can defeat you, President Trump.

Don't you know God uses the weak to confound the wise?

My son and others like him who commit themselves to kindness toward others will defeat you. As a Christian, I know how this ends. And I know the secret to living without fear.

In the meantime, you should be ashamed of yourself for scaring the children. Shame on you!